One Way to Move Forward

It’s easy to feel a sort of paralysis in the wake of events like Virginia Tech and the apparently increasing roster of tragedies we hear or read about every day. A 24-hour news cycle aids in keeping that numbness in place and slowly fans the ember of fear and powerlessness that follow the initial shock. Then we kind of get stuck—glued down to a fearful spot and almost overtly seeking out the next horrifying occurrence. And the cycle begins again.

I am in no way minimizing the pervasive, overwhelming feeling of insecurity that we are all struggling with in the 21st century. World events—and our near instant connection to them as they happen—leave us all grappling for a hold on what appears to be a very slippery surface.

I try to be aware of those feelings as they arise because as a parent, I feel one of the most important things we can give our children is sense of physical and emotional security. When I am afraid, it’s only natural that they will mirror my feeling. Conversely, when I am strong, they will see and feel that strength.

My kids attend State College Area schools. I realized that when the administration, acting on the sage counsel of the police, canceled school the Friday following the tragic events at Virginia Tech (which was also the anniversary of the Columbine shootings), I needed to check in with them to see what they were feeling. They were a bit confused, they said, about why someone would leave a threatening note at the high school. While I couldn’t really answer the “why” part of the question, I saw that I could use the opportunity to talk to them about compassion for the kid (or kids) that are left out of the fun, what to do if someone was obviously unkind to someone else, and about the need to bring to the attention of a teacher any words or actions that seemed hurtful or threatening. We developed strategies for their own behavior and set a standard that they could comfortably maintain.

Maybe we aren’t mindful enough of how actions create reactions, how words really do hurt, regardless of our age. What if in reaching out to people that need just a little help, we’re actually helping ourselves. Perhaps the divisiveness cultivated in our society, whether you’re talking about international, national or neighborhood issues, is affecting us all. Perhaps there’s no room left for behaviors that cull “us” from “them.” After all, it really is just “us.”
Thanks for spending time with us, once again.